Why 20+ Years of Studying Love Still Led Me to Coaching
Sep 13, 2025When I finally decided it was the right time to sign up for coaching, I had two main objectives:
- To identify and uncover blind spots that were holding me back from finding the love I wanted
- To stay accountable to my goa
During my introductory call, my coach, Trea Tijmans, told me something bold: “The next boyfriend you have will be the man you marry.” Early in the process, she also pointed out a recurring pattern of mine - staying in the wrong relationships for too long. I’d often let chemistry cloud my judgment, dragging things out - when, deep down, I knew it wasn’t right.
Early Influences
From a young age, I was fascinated by love and relationships. As a child, I would spend weekends watching Blind Date with Cilla Black. As a teenager, I fell asleep each night to Graham Torrington’s Late Night Love on the radio, and I eagerly devoured agony aunt columns in newspapers and magazines.
Then came the books. I discovered The Rules as a teenager and passed it around to friends as we “up-skilled” in how to make a man want you. Then came the TV shows. Obviously Sex and the City, but also the reality TV (and trash): Beauty and the Geek, Flavor of Love, Date my Mom, First Dates, Married at First Sight… the list goes on!
Learning Through Experts
When I found myself hitting bumps in my adult relationships, YouTube became my classroom. In the early days, I learned from Matthew Hussey and Marni Battista, for tricks on how to attract the right love. Later I found Esther Perel and her insights into eroticism and intimacy, which led me down the path of exploring attachment styles and healing past patterns.
A close friend introduced me to the Gottmans, who offered data-driven insights into love and relationship dynamics - tools she was using to strengthen her own marriage with her analytical husband.
I devoured it all!
Why Coaching Was the Next Step
By the time I turned 32, I was well-versed in the theory, methodologies, and practical steps for finding the right partner. And yet, I still felt the need to invest - both financially and emotionally - by committing to an hour a week of coaching for twelve months.
Why? Because even though I knew all the theory, I wasn’t consistently applying it. I was still overlooking red flags, still convincing myself that “we’ll work it out, because that’s what people in loving relationships do.”
It was time to do things differently. Coaching became my way of putting my money where my mouth was - choosing vulnerability, staying focused, and staying accountable to breaking old patterns, to finally find my person.
Are you ready for the next step?
If you’ve read the books, binged the shows, and studied all the theories but still find yourself repeating the same patterns, love and dating coaching might be the missing piece! It provides clarity, accountability, and a fresh perspective that can help you turn all that knowledge into action - so you can find the love you truly deserve <3
Are you ready to do love differently, this time?
