Six in Ten Swiss Singles Have Tried Online Dating - So Why Does Meeting Someone Still Feel So Difficult?

Dating apps have made it easier than ever to access other singles.

And yet, for many people, meeting someone still feels surprisingly difficult.

A representative Swiss survey conducted in September 2024 found that 61% of singles had previously dated online or were currently looking for a partner online. Among singles aged 30 to 39, that figure rose to 84%.

On the surface, this sounds encouraging. More people are open to meeting online, and we are no longer entirely dependent on introductions through friends, meeting someone at work or simply being in the right place at the right time.

But greater access has not necessarily made dating feel easier. I think part of the reason is that access is not the same as connection.

Online dating is part of the Swiss dating landscape

Dating apps allow us to meet people we may never have encountered in our everyday lives.

This can be particularly valuable in Switzerland, where social circles can feel established and many people are balancing demanding careers, travel and already-full calendars. For expats, they can also provide a way into a dating culture that may otherwise feel difficult to navigate.

The 2024 Swiss survey suggests that online dating is no longer a niche route to meeting someone. It is part of the mainstream dating landscape, particularly among singles in their thirties.

But a larger pool of people does not automatically create better opportunities. It may simply create more decisions.

More choice does not always create more clarity

When we are presented with a continuous stream of profiles, it can be easy to believe that there may always be someone better one swipe away.

A date can be pleasant, but not immediately extraordinary, so we move on.

A conversation can show promise, but another match arrives and takes our attention elsewhere.

Instead of becoming curious about the person in front of us, we begin comparing them with all the other possibilities we have not yet explored.

Recent research found that evaluating higher numbers of dating profiles increased the experience of choice overload. In other words, having more people to assess may make the decision-making process harder rather than easier.

This does not mean that choice is inherently bad. It means that more choice requires greater clarity.

Without that clarity, we may start filtering people based on whatever feels easiest to assess quickly: appearance, job title, immediate chemistry or whether the conversation flows effortlessly from the first message.

The qualities that matter most in a long-term relationship are not always the qualities that are easiest to spot on a dating profile.

A busy dating life is not always a successful one

Many singles are doing everything they believe they should be doing: they are matching, messaging and going on dates regularly. From the outside, their dating lives may look active, but activity does not necessarily mean progress.

You can go on several dates a month while repeatedly choosing people who are unavailable, incompatible or unclear about what they want. You can receive plenty of attention without moving any closer to the relationship you hope to build. And you can become so focused on keeping the process moving that you stop asking whether the people you are meeting are genuinely right for you.

This is something I regularly see in coaching: someone may believe they need more matches, a better profile or another app. But the deeper challenge is sometimes that they are not yet clear about what they are looking for, which patterns they are repeating or how they decide whether to continue investing in a connection.

This can be particularly relevant for successful people, who are often used to solving problems through more effort, more analysis and more options. Those qualities may be valuable in other areas of life. In dating, however, they can create pressure to optimise every decision rather than allowing a connection enough time and space to develop. I explore this more deeply in my article about why successful people can struggle with dating.

Why dating apps can leave singles feeling dissatisfied

There is also an emotional dimension to online dating.

A 2024 study of 1,054 adults under the age of 35 in the United States and United Kingdom found that current and former dating-app users reported lower satisfaction with their relationship status than people who had never used dating apps.

Importantly, the researchers did not conclude that the apps caused this dissatisfaction. People who feel unhappy with their relationship status may simply be more likely to use them.

Still, the finding is interesting: having access to more potential partners does not automatically make us feel more hopeful, confident or fulfilled. In fact, repeated matching without meaningful progress can begin to reinforce the feeling that connection is always available but somehow remains out of reach.

The app can appear full of possibilities while the experience itself begins to feel repetitive.

Dating apps can create the introduction, but not the relationship

This is not an argument against dating apps. Dating apps do work:  they create introductions, relationships and marriages that may never otherwise have happened. But the app can only create the introduction.

It cannot decide whether two people share the same values, want the same kind of relationship or have the emotional availability to build one, it cannot tell us whether we are overlooking a good connection because it did not feel immediately exciting, and it cannot replace the judgement required to recognise when someone deserves more of our attention.

Chemistry can be compelling, but it does not automatically tell us whether someone is compatible, emotionally available or ready to build a relationship.

Is the way you are dating working for you?

The more useful question is not whether dating apps work; it is whether the way you are using them is working for you:

Are you choosing people based on genuine compatibility, or mainly on attraction and availability?

Are you allowing promising connections enough time to unfold?

Are you using online dating as one way to meet people, or expecting it to deliver your entire dating life?

And do you understand what you want clearly enough to recognise it when it appears?

Six in ten Swiss singles having tried online dating tells us that access may not be the central problem. The greater challenge is turning that access into clarity, discernment and meaningful connection.

You may not need more people to choose from. You may need a clearer way to choose.

If you are ready to approach dating with greater clarity and intention, join me at Design Your Love Life, a three-hour workshop designed to help you understand what you genuinely want, recognise the patterns that may be keeping you stuck and create a clearer strategy for moving forward.

Learn more about Design Your Love Life →